A chip in a car park

As we’re usually accompanied by a small, but definitely seen and heard, diner, the chance to be a table for two for lunch was extremely appealing. It’s been a while.

On the recommendation of my husband’s hairdresser (he said barber, but they not only talked “where have you eaten recently, but the ubiquitous “where have you been on holiday?”) we headed for CAU, at the top of town in  Guildford.

Argentinian steakhouses are something of a favourite of ours. My husband and I met whilst working in Clapham, at the same company and on the same cluster! Clapham is well served by La Pampa Grill, with 2 venues minutes apart. The dining experience is rustic, think wooden tables with candles, the service authentic (well they have Spanish accents) and the steaks delicious and bountiful. We were frequent visitors.

CAU has taken a very different approach. That’s not to say it’s the wrong one. But, not the way I would have gone. I imagine when they briefed their interior designers there was a lot of ‘clean, simple, contemporary’ bandied around. White leatherette banquettes and postage stamp black wooden tables complete the look.

It was Tuesday afternoon, about 12.30 and there were 4 other people dining. Nonetheless on entry we were asked if we’d booked a table. They managed to squeeze us in and we were shown to the end of one banquette. It’s been almost 2 years since POD make her appearance and I’ve managed to get back down to a size 12. However the gap between the tables is proportionate to their size and I duly sent next doors salt and pepper grinders crashing to the floor, with my clearly still massive posterior.

Once seated I had a grand view of the empty restaurant, unfortunately a cursory glance to the left and my husband found he was sitting next to the door to the utility room. Or so the bin and dust pan and brush clearly visible through the open door would suggest. We’ve both long abandoned the ‘don’t make a fuss we’re English policy, so, politely asked that we relocate, which we were without incident.

The waitress was swift to take our order, and had an accent, all good. I plumped for the 8oz sirloin my husband the Ribeye, with skinny chips, buttered leeks and causlaw, their proprietary coleslaw. We didn’t have to wait long, during which we witnessed another ‘obese’ woman dash the condiments across a table as she manoeuvred her enormous frame onto the banquette. She was a size 10 at the most.

On arrival both steaks were cooked to perfection, medium and medium rare respectively. The skinny chips came in their very own mini frying basket and were equally as tasty, crisp on the outside fluffy in. The buttered leeks didn’t disappoint either. However, with a glass of Sav Blanc for me a fat coke for my husband (driving), a bottle of water and glasses, the table was now heaving. Luckily we were both ravenous and the adjoining table (almost literally) was unoccupied, so we were quickly able to dump our empty veg receptacles.

A fully cleared table, short break, as we watched the place fill up. It did get surprisingly busy. And we were ready for dessert. Well I was. Mr ‘I’ll just have a peppermint tea’ suddenly materialised in the place of the ‘I’ve eaten the whole tub of Vanilla Haagen Dazs’ I get at home. The chocolate fondant sounded too good to miss and although there was wait, for which I was not pre-warned , when it did come it was just what the doctor ordered. Once I’d breached the outer sponge I watched in awe as the warm chocolate centre cascaded onto the plate. The mint tea was apparently quite nice too.

All in all I would recommend a trip to CAU for any steak lovers. The food is delicious and reasonably priced.

However, the dining experience did make me think of a story I heard about the Business Development Manager of an experiential marketing agency and the Marketing Director of a leading oven chip brand.

The BDM was extolling the virtues of using experiential marketing – when brands create an opportunity for consumers to meet, try, taste, experience their products. At the time there had been several campaigns using the outside space at supermarkets for this very purpose. The Marketing Director’s response to this pitch was simply. ‘A chip in a car park…is a chip in a car park.’

Clearly he or she missed the point, as experiential can be a fantastic channel for brands. However, the point is, if the experience doesn’t deliver on all fronts then however great your product may be, what your customers will remember is not how delicious their steak was, but how you made them feel they have a massive arse.